My name is Chris Weigel and I am a senior majoring in Aerospace Engineering. Initially, I came to OU wanting to be a Chemical Engineer. I have always enjoyed chemistry and still do to this day. Often my favorite parts of my classes are those that involve looking at the chemistry behind the mechanics. That being said, I switched to Aerospace because I realized how much I love aircraft and spacecraft. I am a member of the Boomer Rocket Team, an engineering competition team focused on building rockets for competition. Last year I helped build our rocket for the Spaceport America Cup which is an international competition. This was the team's first competition with more than 5 other teams competing. BRT Rocket Launching at Competition Courtesy of BRT Other than building rockets, I am an avid gamer. I probably play more video games than I should, but I'm having fun so I guess I don't really care. I primarily play Overwatch and Dota 2. I play a number of other games as ...
Chris, wow, great job! I just read your introduction for your project, I've Got A Job For You, and I think you did a fabulous job. In fact, it is the best one I have read so far. You do a great job of drawing the reader in and getting them interested in the story. I look forward to reading some of your future additions to the project. One suggestion that I do have is to include more pictures. I would like to see what weapons that the project is about. Another suggestion that I think could benefit your story is telling the reader how the narrator got into the business. Props to you for creating such an original idea for the class project and I wonder where your story will go next as it has limitless options. Also, don't forget to link back to your comment wall! It is easier that way.
ReplyDeleteHi, uh, Mr. Wolfe, I uh, think there's been a mistake? I applied for the Janitorial position, and I uh, didn't see anything in the job description about weapons...
ReplyDeleteHi Chris, really liked your opening. High school teachers always told me not to write in second person narrative due to its difficulty, but it seems you aren't having any issues in that department. This is a really interesting introduction and immediately sucked me in. I was left wondering about this strange organization and instead of wondering about a mysterious main character, I was thinking "who am I and what am I doing in this story?" While reading this intriguing job offer, I was left feeling like the man talking to me is a little campy? I thought it was funny, but had difficulty feeling the intensity I would expect from a job stealing mythical weapons. If that was your goal, leave the intro as is, and if you wanted the reader to feel that intensity, maybe remove some of the more casual dialogue words. Can't wait for my first assignment!
Chris, the introduction to your project is extremely interesting, and I was wondering if you considered a darker theme for the website, something to really set the mood for dirty, gritty narrative you seem to be writing. The only other thing on the website itself I would suggest is to put a link to your comment wall on the front page to make it easier for visitors to navigate. The introduction itself was exciting, the active involvement of the reader something I have not seen, and definitely a great tool to get me to come back and read more when new posts are up. It reads like a NPC dialogue in a videogame or D&D campaign, and as such leaves me feeling like it is asking for my participations. I was wondering if it would be possible to get more background information on the "organization" even if it was just a name, to make it feel that much more tangible. Otherwise everything looks great and I look forward to reading more of your work.
ReplyDeleteChris, this is an awesome premise for a story. I am really curious to see where you are going to take this as you add the other components of your story book. What I mean, is that I am curious as to whether you will shift to a first-person perspective and give personal details and thoughts, or if you are going to continue this sort of second hand approach from David Wolfe. Either way, it is an intriguing style to read and feels almost like one of those build your own adventure books. One thing I do want to point out is that with the line “Now, we’re not just gonna hand out the spot to just anyone.” You may want to rephrase somehow so that there is not a duplicate word in the sentence. It just interrupts the flow of your story, and kind of joggles the reader. The last comment I have is that you have a little hiccup with commas when you are discussing pay. Maybe try using a little stronger punctuation there, just to accentuate it that little extra bit.
ReplyDeleteChris, I absolutely love how you've set this up! I think it's a really unique idea to have your character speaking directly to the reader (it's called breaking the fourth wall if you're curious). Your banner images are also really nice. They're relevant, good quality pictures that liven up the site. Putting all of the source and other information at the bottom keeps everything looking clean and organized. I will say though that the class and source information looks a little wonky on your homepage. It looks like your sentences got split up and shoved to opposite sides of the page for some reason. If it looks normal in edit mode, you might check out the View Published Site button in the drop down menu by Publish. Anyways, I think you've done a really nice job overall and I'm excited to see what you do with the later sections of your storybook!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris! I read your I've Got a Job For You. Your home page is really intriguing! I love how you did the link to your introduction. It is super neat! I love your introduction. I feel like I am watching a movie. I wish I was as creative as you are! I was hooked from your home page. I am interested to see if the main character that Wolfe is talking to me or a specific character. I love how you have a link to the first job and how it says to comeback in a few days. That was clever. It is the best storybook I have seen so far! I am excited to read more of your storybook! I love the direction you are going. I guess my suggestion to you when writing your future jobs is to feature a picture of the weapon they are trying to obtain. I think it would be cool to add information about the organization at the end of projects if you have time in the end of the semester.
ReplyDeleteChris, I really liked your website. I like how you started the Introduction. The title was very catchy as well. Reading each tab's title makes it seem like the story is going to be about a mission which is really cool! The beginning of the introduction is really good too. I like the friendly tone it has to it. I like how it gives the job interview feel to it. The links are very helpful too. Your storybook is very creative and I can't wait to see what else you come up with! Have you thought about putting in basic job requirements like they do on job posts and then elaborating it more? I also like how the story almost sounds like a puzzle. What's the name of the organization? I also like how there is a little suspense and mystery. It makes me wonder if this David Wolfe guy is a bad guy or not. I look forward to reading the rest of the story!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris!
ReplyDeleteWhat an incredibly interesting introduction! I was immediately drawn into reading more on your portfolio. This is definitely one of, if not the most, creative projects I’ve seen in this class so great job!
In terms of feedforward, I think it would help if you added a darker tone to the site, similar to your Comment Wall. The gold coins image is great but I was thinking more along the lines of, “You’re a winner of a million bucks!” when I clicked on Introduction. But I realized this wasn’t the case and readers need to get to work first! Also, I think it would help if there were more details to the Introduction such as what we are entitled to receiving upon completing the job, what the job actually is, or perhaps it was your goal to be mysterious?
I am just so curious to find out where this project goes! I look forward to coming back once the story is more developed.
Hey Chris,
ReplyDeleteYour project them is so cool! When I first read the introduction I felt like I was getting ready to be come a spy or paid killer to perform under the table murders. This is theme is so creative and one of the best projects I have seen thus far!
I wonder what would happen if you went into more detail about the actual jobs that are going to offered. And maybe what the different rewards are. I like how explained why the arrows were so important, though. What if you made one of the stories a little darker? Maybe incorporate some type of murder or maybe even a kidnapping type of thing. Again these are just ideas and I am sure that you have a plan. I am looking forward to reading more of your stories and viewing the rest of your project as it develops. Good luck!!
Hello!
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read your title it really enticed me to see just what kind of job you were talking about, and wow. The moment I opened your portfolio it felt like I was in a fast moving, top secret organization. I love it! The short sentences really capture that no nonsense business setting that takes place in much of James Bond kind of movies. The links in the text that lead to the next page is fantastic. It's very interactive with the readers and I think that is a very important aspect that stories need. The banners are interesting, and I especially love the gold coins because it's bright and really attracts the eye. I would suggest possibly adding another picture of the man who is communicating with the readers. Is he the typical guy in a business suit, large coat, and hat to cover his eyes? Is he from the modern era or 1910s? Is he American? I think adding a picture could help put a clear picture of who is talking to the readers. However, if your intention is to keep him a mystery, then maybe add a silhouetted figure? Overall, I really love the stories so far and look forward to coming back and checking it out!
Hi Chris! What a captivating Introduction and Story you have written! It was the title "I've Got a Job for You" that caught my attention and thought that that was a very interesting title to name the Storybook. As I was reading your Introduction, I was like who is "you" - is that me, the reader, or a character?! I was extremely intrigued and I kept on reading and the way you have written the Introduction drew me in. The Introduction was well written and well executed so kudos to you! Your story "The First Job" was also exciting to read! The only thing that I do not completely understand is this sentence - "This is the first time we’ve had to find weapons for one, but there’s a first for everything I suppose." When you say "one" is that one individual or something else? If you could just explain that, that would be great! All in all, great Storybook and I cannot wait to read the remaining stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! I think you're going in a really interesting direction for your portfolio project. The way it's presented as a kind of recruitment offer for a clandestine organization really grabbed my attention. The background information on the weapon in the first story was introduced and integrated seamlessly within the context of the situation. Having the image be a part of the story itself was also a good choice. I also like how the Author's Note feels like a part of the story too. The only thing I felt was lacking was the description of the vault. It would have been nice to have the contractor describe what systems were in place to protect the relic instead of asking the recruit to do their own research. I guess it feels more secret heist organization-like to have them provide some background info on the security of the place they're stealing from.
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! Wow! This story book is so creative. It almost seems like an interactive story, assuming the you is supposed to be me? (that is what I will be assuming in this comment) I really like the idea of this being interactive and really making the reader feel like they are part of the story. Last semester I saw a project that used choices the reader made determine the outcome of the story. Will all your stories be different assignments or will you tell how the previous task went? Either way would be really interesting. If you just kept going with assignments, would the reader assumes that they passed the first task or would you let them know? The one suggestion I have is details. I feel like with this kind of story, details are the most important part. Overall, this is storybook project is really good. It could go so many different ways and I cannot wait to see how it turns out. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris, thank you for sharing your storybook with us! I am very impressed with the organized, detailed layout of your webpages and also the layout of the stories. I enjoyed reading your stories that are full of excitement and adventure. I appreciate the imagery you use in each of your stories and overall this imagery spurs the characterization on in each setting. The images you chose are super relevant to the stories and add so much to the readings. I appreciate the way you shape the plot and keep the reader on their toes throughout the entire time of reading. I think you have such a talent for writing and naturally get how to keep a story going throughout the weeks to come. Thank you again for sharing your work with us! I look forward to reading more from you and seeing where this all goes. Have a wonderful week nine and wonderful rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris. I was glad to see your first story is up; been looking forward to reading it. I thought your first choice in weapon was neat: I hadn’t heard of Barbarika or his arrows before (if it was in the Mahabharata, then I am embarrassed...) I also thought the picture was very cool. I was a little confused on how the arrows worked; if you need to fire the first arrow at everything you want to hit, is that not the same as firing a bow with normal arrows at everything? Again, I didn’t see the source material, so there may not be any more description on how it works. I liked your choice to increase the amount of time Barbarika said he could win a war in, because I agree that a minute is just ridiculous, but I also thought 30 days seemed a bit long for such a powerful weapon. The only typo/grammar thing I noticed was your use of incase, which should be two words, in case.
ReplyDeleteHey there Chris, I just got done looking over your project and your website. I really like the way it is laid out and how easy ti is to navigate. I do think that you could probably rearrange some of your widgets so that they are not all stacked under the intro post and just have the tabs up top. That just makes the page a little cleaner I think. I thought you had added some kind of messenger function when i fist saw your intro page haha. I thought that your use of using a language in your intro post that is like it is talking to you was very creative and pretty cool. I thought the way you remade the first story was very interesting. I think that since the story was under the max wording limit you could add a lot more detail which would really help to further engage the reader. You are already doing a great job by making the story really talk to them but adding some more detail would really push this storybook over the edge and give it a great feel! Good job and keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteHello Chris! I hope your day is going great! I read your story and introduction and I really liked the way you are doing your project. It reminds me a bit of the create your own adventure books I used to read during elementary and middle school. I love the mystery feel of the stories and your website. You did a great job adding the traditional story of the Barbarika into a mysterious, sleuthing theme. This technique of yours will keep readers wanting more because it is really engaging. One thing I noticed was that you don't really need the links to the introduction and the first story on the home page since you have the tabs for them at the top already. I didn't find any other issues besides that. You are doing an excellent job, and I really can't wait for your other stories. Keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHey, Chris! First of all, let me say how cool I think your concept is, especially with the little interactive part of the "message" on your homepage. Your concept almost reminds me of the TV show "Warehouse 13" or "The Librarian" movies - find mythical objects etc. Also, writing in the second person is creative and ambitious, even if it's a little risky, but you're killing it. I think my biggest revision suggestion would be the speaking voice of the narrator. I understand the concept but some of your narrator's lines sound forced and corny, but that could also just be the way I am reading it. The only other thing I would suggest is to consider adding some sort of reasoning behind why the person taking the jobs from this mysterious narrator is there in the first place. Not a ton of background but just a little bit to give the reader something to hold onto. Anyway, well done!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris, happy Tuesday! I just had a chance to read your project again and just wanted to say it is coming along amazingly! I think that this idea is so original and is definitely my favorite that I have seen. In your project I thought it was very cool how you made it interactive with the author's note. It is like a puzzle that the reader gets to solve. In fact, I am looking forward to reading your second job when it is posted. I am curious what other weapons that your project will cover. One suggestion that I have to better draw the reader in would be to create more of a context either for why these billionaires want these weapons and/or why the dealer that is telling the story got into the business. It would be cool to have some background on that since I am so curious about it.
ReplyDeleteHi Chris! From the second I looked at the home page of your project I was super interested in what your project was going to be about. You do a great job at creating anticipation for your stories. Your introduction does a great job with imagery. As I was reading your introduction post I really enjoyed how interactive your character David is with your readers. I almost felt as if I was with David! The First Job story was great! Again, I like how you made David so interactive with your readers. I think that the topic you chose is such a great topic because you can literally take your project in any direction and make it really unique. You have made it into an experience instead of just another project. I really look forward to seeing where the rest of your project goes in the future! I wish you luck for the rest of the semester!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris, nice to meet you! I am from the Myth-Folklore class and this is my first time looking at a project from the other class. I was very impressed with the design on your website and after reading the introduction I was on the edge of my seat wanting to read more. You did a really great job of including details and imagery that helped me to imagine what was going on and what the setting and characters looked like. I also really liked how your stories are going in timely order. This helped me to understand what was going on and why. I am very impressed how you made the introduction interactive and continued to be interactive throughout the stories. Personally, I felt like I was right there standing and observing each of your stories. I am intrigued to see what your next story is about and what twists and turns it might take. Overall, really great job! I am looking forward to visiting your storybook again in the future!
ReplyDeleteHey Chris. I love the typewriter picture on your main project page. The description and creativity of the display makes the reader want to know more. It gives you a sense of suspense. It reminds me of Grand Theft Auto with the texting of different jobs.
ReplyDeleteIn your first story, "So, first things first, I believe an introduction is in order. My name is David Wolfe, and it is very nice to finally get to meet you in person." I think that just putting "first things first" as the beginning of the sentence sounds much better and to the point.
"I hope this place was a bit of a trouble to find." Did you mean that you hope that it wasn't too hard to find? I have never heard this sentence phrased like that.
"From now on, whenever we meet in person, it'll be in places like this: abandoned buildings and the like." And the like? What is that?
Hey there, Chris!
ReplyDeleteThis was a really awesome concept and idea for a storybook project! I had not seen something like this at all. I thought that was awesome. You do a great job setting up the stories with the front page. I did not entirely know what to expect, but I knew it would be something related to a secret job. I also thought the intro was great. It really sets the stage for the upcoming missions. I thought the secret location was a nice touch. It added magnitude to the situation, and it made the job seem serious. I thought you did a great job with the dialogue. It does a nice job of explaining what the weapons are and providing nice background information. It also comes across as a natural conversation and it does not seem forced. I look forward to seeing what else you create in the coming weeks! Keep up the good work.
Hey Chris!
ReplyDeleteAwesome stories so far. At first, I wasn't sure a story directly addressing and engaging the reader would work out. But by the end of the first story, I was hooked. It's like you have made the reader the protagonist of the story. Even the title is engaging. I also love that you are tying in modern ideas to make the story more relevant. Spy stories are so trendy right now (I actually just finished watching The Man from U.N.C.L.E.), so having that as your backdrop is perfect. If I were to change or add anything to your story, I would maybe give the narrator a name. You could have a brief introduction like "I'm Agent Whoever" or maybe sign the end of each story with some mysterious code name. It also may work to actually name the "places to meet" at the end of each story. Like at the end of the introduction you could say "meet me at the abandon church on 2nd street" or something to that affect. Either way, your stories are awesome and very cohesive. They engage the reader and make me wonder how I would actually accomplish my mission.
Hey Chris!
ReplyDeleteLet me just start by saying I was hooked by your home page, ready to see what the job for me was exactly! Great job pulling the reader in immediately, this concept is unlike any other I've seen. The introduction did a good job laying out what the rest of your stories were going to look like and had me wondering how I was going to acquire the weapons, good job!
Your stories were really neat in how they described the weapons and gave the background from the Indian stories while also keeping the reader interested in what Wolfe was asking for right now. It's difficult to craft a story that has this back and forth tone, but you did a really good job of it. I thought the details you added for the Varja were helpful in explaining what it was capable of, even if it differed from the myth in some aspects, because it shows why the Russians would value it so much. Your story reminded me of one of those "choose your own adventure" books that I used to read as a kid, so it was a lot of fun reading your storybook! I look forward to reading about the last weapon!
Hi Chris, your introduction is so cool! It did a great job of literally pulling me into the story. It's very rare that you read something in 2nd person, so I was immediately intrigued. Great job at being so creative with the hook of your story! I don't know why having the typical buyer as a Chinese millionaire was so funny to me... I think it reminded me of Kill Bill. The way you narrate your stories also reminds me of the "I Spy" computer games.
ReplyDeleteOverall, great job at giving just enough details to pull the reader into the story, but not enough to spoil the mystery and suspense. I think it would be cool to add another part to each job that encompasses minor dialogue about what happened on the journey to finish that particular job.
I look forward to reading the rest of your storybook. Again, great job!
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ReplyDeleteHey Chris! I'm so glad you finally added the Second Job. This story is so interesting and fun to read! I especially enjoy how you involved the audience in your story by making the hiring manager talk to us. That isn't exactly an easy thing to do. It's cool how you incorporated your pictures into the story. I did that with one of mine but you were able to include most of yours into the story. I think it would be nice if the boss asked some questions about the worker every now and then. He was very informative about the job though. There were so many details involved! It sounds like a tough job.
ReplyDeleteI like how you explained everything in the author's note and included a link as a reference.Reading this story was a nice refresher. I look forward to reading the rest of your story. Keep up the good work!
Hey Chris!
ReplyDeleteYou projects website flows together wonderfully from the homepage all the way the most recent story. Using the job locations to move the user through the website was clever and a wonderful design choice. In regards to the topic, the choice of ancient Indian weapons is sure to have so many possibilities. I am eager to see what you write about next. In the first job, I liked how you managed to tell the original story about Krishna and Barbarika without going into too much detail. It was just enough to know what to look for, to get in, and to get out. This is very much true for the second job as well. These divine weapons are interesting and powerful; it is no wonder that the main character is willing to go through the danger to find them. I cannot wait to see what hazards await him in his third job!
Hi Chris – back again for your next story. I’ve got to say, I think this one was my favorite. You did a really good job of hitting the mark both on the epic weapon and on your theme of the job. I really liked your explanation of how the Russians were paying off the people around the facility; having a good reason the weapon is hidden helps ground it in reality. I also liked your interpretation that it could be used to control the weather. I would have liked to hear about how Indra used his weapon against Vrita, just because the weapon is the focus of the story. I also went back and checked out the image changes you made on your other stories; I like that the backgrounds are all abandoned places where you could actually meet a super sketchy dude and get missions from him. Also thought the text notification was a nice touch on your home page.
ReplyDeleteHey there Chris. I really, really like the way you have set up your storybook. You do a great job of making each story seem like a reasonable briefing that someone would give for a job they want done. With just your intro and the two stories so far, you've managed to craft a unique feeling world that feels very natural. Also, the way you can click the link at the bottom of the intro and the first story that describe the next meeting point to navigate to the next story is a really fun and immersive way to set up your site. It really gets the reader and puts them into the world you are making. One thing that I would nit-pick would be to add a little bit more about the Vajra to your second story. It felt like that one was more about the heist and less about the weapon itself, although it seems like balancing those two must be hard. All the info about the setup is really cool, and shouldn't be removed, but maybe just a little more info on what the weapon did in the hands of Indra or what the Russians might be doing with it would help tie the story to the epics better.
ReplyDeleteHello again, Chris! It has been roughly a month since my last visit to your Comment Wall and I am back to read "The Second Job." For starters, I enjoyed how you described and incorporated what a vajra is in your story; it gives a readers an image of what the central weapon in this story looks like. After the picture of the Himalayas, there is a sentence that ends with "Russians get to keep a valuable black site." You may want to explain what you mean by this so readers have an idea of the thought you are trying to get across. Towards the end of the story, enjoyed how you had Wolfe give some ideas to the man because that spurs the minds of readers into thinking of ways that the man can accomplish this mission. Overall, it was cool to see how you incorporated historical aspects (from Nazis to the Russians) into your story - it made the story feel more relatable in a sense because we know that part of history. Overall, great job and keep up the good work!
ReplyDeleteHi Chris!
ReplyDeleteThis was a seriously fun read. I would never have dreamed to do this and it came out wonderfully. The feel and style of the site is perfect for a shifty historical arms dealer, and including the images was a nice touch (plus it was cool to see what a Vajra actually looked like).
The narrative feels very appropriate, and does a great job of pulling the reader into what reminds me of old-school, text-based computer games. The story progresses nicely from the intro to each job, and I learned so much from the author's notes. These are actually really cool weapons, and I really wonder if any sort of atomic weapons (wasn't Oppenheimer known for believing ancient India had atomic weapons? I don't remember exactly) will be considered for future stories.
Super creative site, and a delight to read. Thank you, and looking forward to the next piece!
Hey Chris,
ReplyDeleteI really had a great time reading your project. The layout of this is insanely creative. You really help pull the reader in by directly addressing them. This felt almost like a choose your own adventure sort of game, but I just had to read to find out rather than decide for myself. Referring to the stories as jobs helped further advance the scene of the reader and the narrator discussing the job opportunities at hand. I also believe this was a major source of the flow from one story to another in your project. The idea of an Arms-dealer is awesome, it reminds me of Han Solo.
Hi Chris! What a great concept! Right from the home page you start revealing your vision for your project, and it feels like you have really thought through what you are going for. You even carry it into the author's note. I am really impressed with how consistent you are with the voice of the narrator. Their way of speaking with short matter of fact sentences fits the character well and establishes the mood of the storybook.
ReplyDeleteThere were a couple small things I noticed that you might want to take a look at again. In "The First Job," you are missing a "to" in the fourth paragraph in the sentence that begins, "Anyways, Krishna asked him ..." Then, in "The Second Job," I wonder if you can find a better way to word the last sentence of the first paragraph. It does not seem to flow as smoothly as all the other sentences and breaks up the consistent rhythm you established for the narrator's speech when I read it.
Other than that I really enjoyed reading your storybook.
Hello Chris!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on the stories. I Like the story telling style you used as it's very unique! You were very descriptive. I can also tell that you improved as you went along. By the final job I could tall you went all out in describing the scene and details of the heist very well. I think what really brings your story together is the theme and style of the website. You really use the pictures and layout of your story to take advantage of creating a scene for the reader to become immersed in. I think it would be a nice wrap up to the story if your added added a bit about how the last job went. I think this could give you a chance to really connect emotionally with the reader. Overall great job on your stories and good luck with the rest of your semester!
Hello again Chris!
ReplyDeleteGreat job on your third story! Since I have already read the first two I will focus primarily on the last one. I have really like the writing style and theme for this storybook. It has been very informative to read and quite entertaining as well. Given that the last story is titled “The Final Job”, is the reader meant to assume that he did not make it out? Did we finally find an artifact that was guarded properly for the power that it held? These were the thoughts going through my mind at the end of the reading. Regardless, the last story was wonderful. I felt it was the most descriptive by in terms of the artifact and the location. If you get a chance to write another story, I would love to know how our thief makes it out, or is caught. This is a great storybook.
Hello again, Chris!
ReplyDeleteI am revisiting your storybook and wow, I am so impressed by your creativity! I am obsessed with the layout of your blog, the tone, and the stories you've composed. You managed to pick visual illustrations that fit the theme perfectly. Since I'm required to post some feedforward, I think it may be helpful to add to your author's notes. I want to hear more about what sparked your creativity and why you retold the Mahabharata the way you did. Overall, fantastic job! Good luck with the rest of the semester.
Hello again Chris!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad that I got another opportunity to read through your story book. I was just as enthralled by the introduction and first two stories as I was the first time, and I could tell you made some edits that really helped sharpen your stories. I especially like the change you made on the home page to include a messages icon and a cryptic message from "Wolfe." That is the perfect name for a top-secret mission giver-outer. Since I already commented on your first two missions in my previous feedback, I'll just skip straight to the third and final mission. Again, I loved how detailed and complex the mission is. You obviously put a lot of thought into this project. My biggest constructive comment is a little picky but I think it would be an easy yet impactful change. Is there a way to make the squiggly red lines go away on the itemized list? I know that seems little but I think eliminating those would make your project look much, much cleaner. Great work on your storybook, I think you made a fantastic legend!
Hello once again Chris! I really liked your last story and your conclusion! They tied up your story in an interesting way and I really enjoyed the way you set them up. I had a lot of fun going through all the items in the manifest where the Narayanastra was held. I notice a Crystal Skull as well as some names that sounded familiar. H. Jones and A. Breton were ones I thought were the most fun. Also R. Well. This storybook was really awesome and had me very engaged the entire time I read it. The way you had each story have a link to the next when the contact told you the next meeting place was so cool. It really tied each piece of the story together and made it fun to traverse the pages. Lastly, I really like that you chose not to feature any of the actual events to retrieve the weapons and left them up to the reader's imaginations.
ReplyDelete